Истории, статьи, стихи о школьной жизни на Английском. Пожалуйста, можно с переводом? Не могу ничего найти! Помогите!!! .-

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Истории,
статьи, стихи о школьной жизни
на Английском. Пожалуйста, можно с переводом? Не могу ничего найти! Помогите!!! .-.

  • Class Dismissed 
    by Bruce Lansky

    We have broken all the blackboards 
    so the teachers cannot write. 
    We have painted all the toilets black 
    and all the lockers white. 
    We have torn up all the math books 
    and we've locked the school's front door. 
    There won't be school no more. 
    Glory, glory hallelujah! 
    School is closed now, what's it to ya? 
    There won't be no more homework 
    and there won't be no more tests. 
    There won't be school no more.

    My Sister's Always on the Phone 
    by Bruce Lansky 

    My sister's always on the phone. 
    I never see her study. 
    She doesn't do her homework, 
    which is why her grades are cruddy. 
    My sister's always on the phone, 
    but I don't think that's cool. 
    My sister is so popular 
    she's flunking out of school. 

    Morning Announcements 
    by Sylvia Andrews 

    Good morning, Staff and Students, 
    take note of what I say. 
    In school we will have showers 
    for April starts today. 
    Some teachers were suspended 
    for giving too much work. 
    Today, if you feel lazy, 
    you'll be allowed to shirk. 
    We want to find the student 
    who brought a pig to school. 
    It is "running" down the hallways, 
    and that's against the rule. 
    Today on our lunch menu, 
    are bumblebees in sauce 
    or chopped cockroach sandwiches 
    and salad you can toss. 
    Next year we'll pay our students 
    for work they do in school... 
    ...and if you believe these messages, 
    then you're an APRIL FOOL! My Dog Chewed Up My Homework 
    by Bruce Lansky 

    I'm glad to say my homework's done. 
    I finished it last night. 
    I've got it right here in this box. 
    It's not a pretty sight. 
    My dog chewed up my homework. 
    He slobbered on it, too. 
    So now my homework's ripped to shreds 
    and full of slimy goo. 
    It isn't much to look at, 
    but I brought it anyway. 
    I'm going to dump it on your desk 
    if I don't get an A.
     What I Found in My Desk 
    by Bruce Lansky 

    A ripe peach with a ugly bruise, 
    a pair of stinky tennis shoes, 
    a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye, 
    a swimsuit that I left to dry, 
    a pencil that glows in the dark, 
    some bubble gum found in the park, 
    a paper bag with cookie crumbs, 
    an old kazoo that barely hums, 
    a spelling test I almost failed, 
    a letter that I should have mailed, 
    and one more thing, I must confess, 
    a note from teacher: Clean This Mess!!!! What to Remember in School 
    by Kenn Nesbitt
     

    Forget that two times four is eight. 
    Forget the name of every state. 
    Forget the answers on the test. 
    Forget which way is east or west. 
    Forget the myths of ancient Rome. 
    Forget to bring your books from home. 
    Forget the words you learned to spell. 
    Forget to hear the recess bell. 
    Forget your homeroom teacher's name. 
    Forget the after-school game. 
    Forget which team's supposed to win. 
    Forget to turn your homework in. 
    Forget the distance to the moon. 
    Forget how many days in June. 
    Forget the capital of France. 
    But don't forget to wear your pants! Too Busy 
    by Bruce Lansky 

    I've folded all my laundry 
    and put it in the drawer. 
    I've changed my linen, made my bed, 
    and swept my bedroom floor. 
    I've emptied out the garbage 
    and fixed tomorrow's lunch. 
    I've baked some cookies for dessert 
    and given Dad a munch. 
    I've searched the house for pencils 
    and sharpened every one. 
    There are so many things to do 
    when homework must be done. There's a New Cook in the Cafeteria 
    by Bruce Lansky 

    Good Morning, staff and students. 
    We have a brand new cook. 
    And that's why our lunch menu 
    will have a brand new look. 
    To make a good impression, 
    our cook's prepared a treat: 
    your choice of snapping turtle soup 
    or deep-fried monkey meat. 
    If you're a vegetarian, 
    we have good news today: 
    she's serving pickled cauliflower 
    and jellyfish souffle. 
    And for dessert our cook has made 
    a recipe from France: 
    I'm sure you'll all want seconds-- 
    of chocolate-covered ants. 
    I hope you like this gourmet feast. 
    I hope you won't complain. 
    But if you do we'll have to bring 
    our old cook back again. 
    Turn Off the TV! 
    by Bruce Lansky 

    My father gets quite mad at me; 
    my mother gets upset-- 
    when they catch me watching 
    our new television set. 
    My father yells, "Turn that thing off!" 
    Mom says, "It's time to study." 
    I'd rather watch my favorite TV show 
    with my best buddy. 
    I sneak down after homework 
    and turn the set on low. 
    But when she sees me watching it, 
    my mom yells out, "No!" 
    Dad says, "If you don't turn it off, 
    I'll hang it from a tree!" 
    I rather doubt he'll do it, 
    'cause he watches more than me. 
    He watches sports all weekend, 
    and weekday evenings too, 
    while munching chips and pretzels-- 
    the room looks like a zoo. 
    So if he ever got the nerve 
    to hang it from a tree, 
    he'd spend a lot of time up there-- 
    watching it with me.


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